Thousands of photos on Facebook. A highlight reel of your life. And, of course, the unauthorized biography about your complicated relationship with the nation of Bulgaria.
But not even one person has put brush to canvas and painted you.
And that just won’t do...
Introducing The Commission Project, an endeavor by an artist who wants to immortalize you in oils and linen, taking commissions now.
Sitting for a portrait used to be limited to popular religious figures and 16th-century Spanish nobility. Then came email. Now, you’ll send Paul Ferney, a Paris-based American artist, a photo of you, and he’ll use his gift (and paint) to turn your illustrious moment into a 5-by-7 work of high art.
Right about now, you’re thinking, “Yes, my holiday shopping is done. Paintings of me for all.” But before you pull that trigger, you might also consider having him paint someone else dear to your heart (a girlfriend or your beagle, for instance). This can be done. All you have to do is send in the photo you want painted by this Thursday, and it’ll be ready for home unveiling by December.
You should probably get your velvet curtain guy on the phone.