We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Copyright pending.)
A little outfit out of Bern, Switzerland, called Scent of Love is claiming to have unlocked a scientific process to predict sexual chemistry through smell. They say it’s a matter of matching up subtle variations in personal scent. So if you and your date have complementary proteins, her natural scent will drive you just a little crazy. It’s all very Swiss.
The magic starts with a kit that they send you, containing a tiny receptacle and a measuring stick. First, you’ll need to fill the sample cup. (Don’t worry, it’s just spit.) Dip the measuring stick in the sample for a few minutes and you’ll get a mysterious readout of your protein composition, which the website will translate into a color-coded scent profile... which is roughly when the fun begins.
The good news: after introducing our pheremonal guinea pig to compatibly scented women, we can testify to the sparks. The bad news: no stateside dating services have started using the tests, so you’re on your own for a while. Unless you happen to find yourself in Bern. In which case, brace yourself...