But since that's not going to happen, we'd like to tell you about the next best thing: the best place in the entire world to sled down a mountain.
Welcome to the Wildkogel Rodelbahn, 8.7 miles of dedicated tobogganing bliss—complete with hairpin turns, a dedicated ski lift and an ale house along the way—now awaiting you and your trusty sleigh.
In short, it's the grown-up version of your 10-year-old self's biggest fantasy: hurtling down a mountain's worth of slopes on a runner sled just inches off the ground. On one side, you'll have a towering Alpine peak; on the other side, a frighteningly steep drop-off. (Our advice: hold on tight to Rosebud.)
The full course can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour, depending on your ability, endurance and chutzpah. But if all the white-knuckle sledding gives you a thirst for Swiss beer—and frankly, we don't see how it wouldn't—you may want to stop halfway through for a round or two (and an in-depth discussion of proper form) at the slopeside tavern before tackling the second half of the run in a more fearless (if slightly dizzier) state.
Which should get you through until après-sledding.