Or you don't, which means your procrastinating ways have left you utterly screwed at this point. You need a Plan B. Stat.
Here to save the day: Above and Beyond Catering, offering a new in-home experience where they literally bring Valentine's Day dinner at a restaurant home to you.
Here's the rundown: you book them for a night between February 12 and 14. Above and Beyond comes to your house, sets the dining table in red linens, candles and a rose, serves up a three-course meal (think Seared Tuna Wasabi Aioli and Sliced Flank Steak Fanned Over Scallion Pancake) and the wine of your choosing, and they'll even keep a bottle of champagne on ice for you.
As an add-on service, they'll bring extra champagne, roses and an assortment of candles and massage oils for transforming your bedroom into a den of romantic pleasure (not that it normally isn't), allowing you to get down to business after they've cleaned up and left.
And after next weekend, this will be regularly available for birthdays, anniversaries or perhaps as a peace offering after some minor (or major) relationship infraction.
Bourbon blackouts tend to require some damage control.