It took a lot of digging and driving in white '80s limos to North Vegas—yes, we saw at least three things we will never un-see. But we're ready to name a winner.
As you've probably guessed, a human-size birdcage is involved.
Introducing the Provocateur Penthouse at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, a multimedia paean to humanity's basest urges, open now.
Consider it your invitation to a lost weekend of sin, complete with sex-toy room service and a shocking array of kinks.
As you step inside, you'll notice things are a little off. Instead of the usual complimentary pillow mints, you'll get a bedside tray of whips, paddles and bondage rope—to be used with those curious hooks on the coffee table, if you're feeling creative.
You'll find the pièce-de-résistance inside the guest room: three queen-size mattresses jammed together into a triple-wide playground of bedding, with video of scantily clad models projected onto the bedspread by a sound- and motion-activated computer system. (Somewhere, Steve Jobs is kicking himself.)
Oh, and that's not all: for simpler pleasures, venture through the mysterious second door in the master bathroom and you'll find yourself in a genuine sex dungeon, complete with a 6-foot birdcage. (We'll assume it's for really tall parrots.) When you're done, you'll slip out into the living room, ready to wash away the evening in the outdoor soak tub.