So you'll want to pay a visit to The Swimsuit Vending Machine at the Standard Downtown—it'll start taking your money at this Sunday's infamous weekly pool party.
This is how it goes. It's August, and you're ready for your mind-melting dose of impressively coiffed hipsters in cutoffs and actresses/waitresses in tiny bikinis, plus techno beats, blazing afternoon sun and ice-cold afternoon vodka, all absorbed from your red pod by the pool up on the roof. Only one problem: totally forgot your suit.
Actually—not a problem. You're covered. The new vending machine is stocked with a few styles of '70s-looking boardshorts—we like the blue with white stars. The suits are technically a collaboration between the hotel empire and Quiksilver, with different looks "inspired by" different outposts, but all you really need to know is that you couldn't swim before, and now you can.
It's also got some black bikinis, thereby offering you a new way to impress the girl hesitantly dipping her toe into the water.
Don't buy her a drink. Suit her up.