1. It's hot, muggy and raining.
2. You are decidedly untouched by sweet, delicious booze.
We, on the other hand, offer only solutions.
So allow us to bring you quite possibly the only thing in the entire universe that can—in one, simple, breathtaking fell swoop—solve all of your problems.
In our continuing coverage of food that doubles as booze, we bring another report of critical culinary importance to bear: Introducing Cocktail Popsicles, now available for your brain (and liver) freezing pleasure at under-the-radar East Village vegetarian hangout Counter.
Now, normally we wouldn't think of the tofu-heavy Counter as a paradigm of alcohol experimentation, but with the advent of the Cocktail Popsicle, they've created what might just be the holy grail of alcoholic kiddie food—a noble foodstuff borne of a long line of alcoholic delicacies like the vodka-soaked milkshake, the absinthe gummy bear and Lindsay Lohan.
Just wait for the moment today when the heat really sets in, make your way to your new favorite cocktail bar and order up a trio of mini popsicles that have managed to defy the mythical "alcohol can't be frozen" theory.
Each of these little icy shots has its own booze/fruit combo—you'll get a Blueberry Lemon Verbena Vodka pop, a Raspberry Prosecco pop and a Strawberry Mint Rum Daiquiri pop.
Don't worry, we've already submitted the request for a moonshine and peaches pop.