"Your train will arrive on time, and there will be a seat available."
"Eat, drink, and remarry."
"A new skyscraper is being built next door to your building and your view is about to disappear."
These are the words of writer Jay McInerney, famous for his second-person, voice-of-a-generation novel "Bright Lights, Big City." Only you won't find these Manhattanite musings in a thin paperback with Michael J. Fox on the cover. Instead, you'll find them on the fortunes hiding inside of Hakkasan's latest dessert.
The clubby Chinese chain brought the author on-board to write fortunes for its newest dessert, a complimentary course that merges the macron with the fortune cookie, as well as the black-and-white cookie, called the Macartune. Available through February to celebrate Chinese New Year in New York, there are 88 McInerney bon mots to be found.
Expect messages like:
"Your ex will want custody of the dog."
"Swipe right on everyone this weekend just to see what happens."
"You will be insulted on Twitter by Donald Trump."
"Beware of last-minute prenups."
"Coked to the gills, you'll abandon your plan to release a ferret inside your former employer's office only to humiliate yourself during an ex's runway show before sleeping with a 14-year-old in Forest Hills."
Okay, we made that last one up, just in case you're worried McInerney is losing his edge. He's certainly still got the second-person perspective down.