Like most single millennials in America, I, too, found myself on both sides of the ghosting spectrum in 2017. I ghosted. I was ghosted upon. I coached girlfriends through situations in which they were both the ghoster and the ghostee, in these blatant sort of blind-leading-the-blind scenarios, saying things like, "Honestly, just do you," and “Don’t stress, it’s only been four days since his last text.”
But truly, after all this, I’ve got to say it feels generally exhausting and totally unnecessary.
So, along with hate-checking Tomi Lahren’s Twitter on a daily basis, ghosting is something I’d like to leave solidly behind in the new year.
I hereby vow to avoid ghosting in all forms in 2018.
Now, how? you may be wondering. Well, I’ll do this by taking care to be a less shitty person, and attempting to confront, accept and express my feelings with more finesse. Now, how? you may still be wondering. Well, when I find myself facing the following internal battle, I'll take the high road.
Me: Say you had a nice time, but that you’re feeling more of a friendship vibe.
Me to me: Fuck it, delete the thread.
The thing is, people are for the most part super understanding and appreciative when you're just straight-up with them. I know this because I've done it once or twice. And yeah, it takes a few minutes of being vulnerable with your feelings, but you’re going to have to be vulnerable in a relationship you actually want to be in eventually, so start thinking of this as practice. If nothing else, it leaves room for potential friendship, as opposed to awkward encounters when you both get invited to the same New Years Eve trip and his name pops up in the group thread. (Help).
My point is, ghosting helps not the ghoster or the ghostee, and generally makes everyone feel either slightly disappointed (best case) or like shit, blaming their own shortcomings and stressing about a low-key Bumble encounter they barely cared about in the first place (more common case).
Take the high road. Send the slightly uncomfortable text. Gently express yourself before fading into the ether.
And for the love of God, stop hate-checking Tomi Lahren’s twitter.