And now that we’re speaking of odd and grills and you being places, here you’ll find some solicited grilling advice getting all up in your Memorial Day business.
Now we’re not trying to say you’re throwing too many basic proteins on your grill. Only that you could be using this thing for foie gras and whole lobsters and uh, birthday cake?
Yeah, sure. Fuck it. Birthday cake.
Enjoy this guide to the more unusual things we’ve seen people grill. Then enjoy grilling them yourself.
Unlikely candidate: Your Arnold Palmers
How to do it: Simply halve, then grill the lemons you’re going to use for the lemonade side of the equation. 4-5 minutes should do it.
Bonus points: Add vodka and turn it into a John Daly.
Unlikely candidate: Whole lobster
How to do it: Simply split your bottom-feeders in half, brush them in butter and grill meat-side down for five minutes before flipping and doing the same on the shell side.
Bonus points: Beer-can lobster.
Unlikely candidate: Birthday cake
How to do it: Hmmm. All we know is one of our co-worker’s dads tried smoking one on his Green Egg.
Bonus points: Explain why. Please someone explain why.
Unlikely candidate: Foie gras
How to do it: Season with salt and pepper. Then you can quickly sear both sides of a lobe over your charcoal fire or impale foie cubes, kebab-style, for 30-45 seconds of light browning.
Bonus points: Not overcooking your pricey delicacy. And avoiding likely flare-ups.
Unlikely candidate: Empanadas
How to do it: This is mostly about getting some grill marks on the exterior of a pre-baked empanada, as witnessed by our man in Argentina.
Bonus points: Attempting additional forms of grilled pastry: Your khachapuris. Your savory mincemeat pies. Your Hot Pockets.
Unlikely candidate: Grilled cheese
How to do it: First, make a grilled cheese. Next, throw it on the grill.
Bonus points: Reporting back as to the efficacy of this method.
Unlikely candidate: Avocados
How to do it: Cut fruit in half, remove seed, brush with olive oil and grill baby grill until the flesh gets medium heavy score marks.
Bonus points: Not becoming another “avocado-hand” statistic.
Unlikely candidate: Oysters
How to do it: Leave them on the half-shell and throw them on the grill shell down for a minute or two.
Bonus points: Melting any form of infused butter on top.
Unlikely candidate: Fruit
How to do it: Turn on Food Network. Find a Bobby Flay show. That guy is always grilling fruit.
Bonus points: Suckling jackfruit in a Caja China.