If you answered, “Open up a restaurant and bar in her honor, complete with a wall-sized portrait of her, a neon sign of one of her sayings and over 170 whiskeys,” congratulations, you’re the owner of Hazel Southern Bar & Kitchen, which is having a preview party for you tonight, officially opens next Friday and looks like this.
If not, allow us to elaborate...
It’s got 16 TVs. It’s got three huge communal tables emblazoned with the words “Bassackwards,” “Hankerin’” and “Malarkey.” It’s got that ridiculous selection of whiskeys and drinks like the Watermelon Smash with rye, watermelon juice and mint. It’s got a lot of things.
You clearly have some decisions to make, but do make it a point to hang out in the lounge area and play some pool with your happy hour group. Send for some delicious southern things like BBQ ribs and fried chicken, the latter of which comes in two-piece, four-piece and whole bird sizes. Choose wisely.
Oh, and you’re probably going to Instagram the red neon sign that says, “There’s gonna be some sad singin’ and some slow walkin’ up in here!”
Some battles just aren’t worth fighting.