It’s best not to mince words when dealing with such important matters, but we also understand if you have questions.
We’re happy to field some of those now...
Wait, so there’s a hot tub?
Lying about something like that would result in eternal damnation and hellfire, which is a bummer. Yes, it’s got one of those, and here it is.
What’s the setup?
Small yet mighty. It’s a tiny room that can only be accessed by going through the Acme lobby, down the stairs and past the fitness center. You’ll need to make reservations 48 hours in advance, and the space can fit up to 18 people. Basically, this will end badly in the best possible way.
I’m sensing that there’s a bench made out of an old ski-lift chair, vintage skis on the wall, a faux fireplace, a shower backed by a mural of a pinup girl wearing a red bikini and ski goggles, and a loose Alpine theme. Did I nail it?
It’s almost like we’re writing this for you...
Yes, they have those. They’re inspired by European après culture and most take cues from hot cocktails. Only they’re served chilled because who wants a hot drink in an already-hot tub. Mulled wine with orange and clove. A blended sidecar with cognac, Amer and lemon. Stuff like that.
Please tell me the bartender will serve those to me in the hot tub.
The bartender will serve those to you in the hot tub.
Do I just, like, show up in my bathing suit?
You do. You really do. This is the dream and you’re living it. They even provide towels and robes.
Think anyone would mind if I made a joke about John Cusack and an ensemble cast of fun-loving hooligans who accidentally travel back in time via hot tub to experience their favorite ’80s ski town in madcap ways they never expected, and how hilarity then ensues?
Probably best to go ahead and get that out of your system now.