Now there’s an innocent food.
Crunchy. Makes a nice snack. Great for movies. Doesn’t wish to rain down vengeance with the fury of an exploding sun.
Yeah, so we thought.
Then along came Pyro Pop, an unabashedly, recklessly, alarmingly spicy popcorn that arrived at UrbanDaddy HQ. They make four flavors—Red White & Bleu, Salt & Vinegar, Cheddar Dill and Kettle Inferno—and each is popped in chili-infused peanut oil.
Naturally, we had to taste it. So herewith, the results of that possibly ill-conceived taste test.
“Loved it. But then I made the mistake of having several more handfuls and now everything hurts.”
“Needs a bit more salt. Also, I breathe fire now.”
“If only it came with a side of Prilosec...”
“Now that I’ve turned off my space heater, removed my wool sweater and had some cold water, I think my body has returned to a normal internal temperature. And I think I’ll have some more.”
“This popcorn is a liar. You toss some into your mouth. You think, ‘Mmm, dill, nice.’ Then the burn comes. And it builds, and keeps building. And you feel betrayed. Then you take another handful. Damn you, Pyro Pop.”
“Dear God, that’s hot. Too hot. Certainly too hot.”
“I like the uncomfortable heat. But there’s a required 10-minute wait between each mouthful. They should really put that on the bag.”
“I usually avoid this type of thing. I’ll likely keep doing that.”
“Yum. But also, ouch.”
“‘I don’t see what all the fuss is about...’ is what I wanted to say. But ‘Holy shit’ is what I’m actually saying.”
“Well, it cleared my sinuses. So that’s good.”