There’s a chance some of the products you’re about to see will go on to be huge successes, forever enshrining their inventors in the pantheon of scientific geniuses... But don’t count on it. These are the worst ideas we’ve seen this year. Enjoy responsibly.
Quick, think of the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen. Now know that it’s child’s play compared to this: a fur coat made entirely of chest hair, created to help a British dairy company promote chocolate milk for men. We assure you that no Tom Sellecks were harmed in the making of this coat.
Getting mugged is no reason not to look fabulous. Or so the thinking must go from those responsible for Blingsting, a line of rhinestone-bedazzled pepper-spray key chains. Then again, maybe they just help you escape as your attacker doubles over in laughter.
To look upon these rainbow-, tiger- and leopard-print (you so rarely get both these days) leggings for men is to know with perfect clarity that the human race will come to no good end. Even David Lee Roth feels awkward around these.
We’ve got to confess, we were on the fence about the Pinstripe Dress Pant Sweatpants. In the right light, if people are far enough away, they almost—no. Just no. You should never have to worry about fooling everyone into thinking your dress pants are real. It’s just... no.
A year from now, the world will look back at the advent of this man-child-size Big Wheel as the dawning of the age of the tragicomic DUI. And maybe that actually makes this thing worth it.
