And never once have they made you an amazing new suit.
Well, finally, someone’s using that power for good...
Step into the future at Alton Lane—it’s a custom-tailoring operation that uses a 3D body scanner to produce really fine-fitting suits, taking appointments now for next Friday’s debut.
Inside, it’s got that classic Savile-Row-meets-Texas-roadhouse look, with dapper suit-clad mannequins, leather couches, reclaimed woods and the occasional pop of mounted deer head.
So what you’ll want to do: book an appointment. Then, show up. Enjoy a glass of gratis scotch at the bar while discussing your preferences. Fabrics, cut, pockets, all that stuff. Everything is pretty standard so far. Pretty... laser-free.
Then, it’s time. Step into a little booth, get about 98% disrobed and the scanner will blast your almost-but-not-quite-naked self with 32 lasers to create an incredibly accurate 3D rendering of your body. Great. That’s done. Four to six weeks and a few expert tailors later, your perfect-fitting new suit will arrive on your doorstep.
In the meantime, maintaining bicep consistency is key.