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Lapdance Classes: Or, How to Spice Up Feb 14

A few simple rules for Valentine's Day—no generic dinners. No rose petals. No champagne. Well, maybe champagne. Generally, though, you prefer a bit more creativity (and so does she). Read on.

She Wants: Something Relaxing

She Gets: A session for you both at the two-level, 20,000-square-foot spa deep inside the new Montage Beverly Hills—complete with a pretty striking coed mineral pool. Because gifts for you both are the best kind of gifts.

Spa Montage, 225 N. Canon Dr (N. of Wilshire), Beverly Hills, 310-860-7800

She Wants: Something Frisky

She Gets: Lapdance classes—one noble West Hollywood fitness studio has bested yesterday's pole-dancing craze with this couples-friendly endeavor. They say it'll strengthen her legs, and you're in no position to argue.

Harmony Studios, 8440 Santa Monica Blvd (E. of La Cienega), West Hollywood, 323-822-9584

She Wants: Jewelry

She Gets: A rare find at a new shop owned by a man behind Bar Lubitsch and El Carmen—and a woman with a knack for finding unique estate-sale pieces under $300, like a necklace packing a giant battleship. Aw, you shouldn't have.

She Wants: Chocolate

She Gets: An all-chocolate tasting "dinner" on a Brentwood chocolatier's intimate patio. Bring a bottle of red to go with your Kaffir Lime Chocolate Panna Cotta with Thai Chili Sauce.

$30, Compartes, Feb 13-14, 6-9pm, reservations required, 912 S. Barrington Ave (S. of San Vicente), 310-826-3380

She Wants: A Ring

She Gets: The remaining balance of your savings account. If this year's the one, economy be damned, the Resort at Pelican Hill will send a Dom-stocked Bentley to take you to your two-bedroom villa with round-the-clock butler, and you'll have a private, musician-backed dinner...here. Don't forget the ring.

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