A) A sun-dappled paradise teeming with natural beauty.
B) A hidden gem chock-full of history and unrivaled luxury.
C) All of the above... and a little less PR-speak.
Assuming you’re human, let’s go with C.
And then, let’s f**king get you off to paradise.
Clear your holidays for Elephants and Emerald Isles, a two-week tranquility bender in Sri Lanka and the Maldives, booking now.
Pirates. Tea barons. Buddhist celebrities. This nook of the Indian Ocean has long been their go-to spring break spot (or cultural equivalent).
Your journey begins, as all good ones do, in a thatch-roofed bungalow—perfect for hammock lounging, elephant gazing and other bungalow-y stuff. And yes, you’ll have a private driver and dozens of nearby World Heritage sites... but you’ll also have a private pool and a 42-inch TV with complimentary on-demand. (Finally, a chance to catch up on Sri Lankan cinema.)
At some point, you’ll need to stretch your legs. So you’ll go camping. In the jungle. Which happens to house more leopards than anywhere on earth. But don’t worry: you’ll be with a trained safari guide, and he’s well versed in the local stand-your-ground laws. Probably.
Your reward for survival: a speedboat ride to the world’s only underwater spa facility, where you’ll get massaged in plain view of manta rays and schools of tropical fish.
We know how you like an audience.