It makes you forget your troubles. It makes other people more attractive. It makes you stronger. (Allegedly.)
So it’s time you were put in charge of it. That’s right. You’re now in charge of all vodka.
At least when you come here: Park Tavern, a sports bar near the United Center that thinks you’re fully capable of pouring yourself a martini, slated to soft-open Tuesday.
First and foremost, this place is about sports. In fact, it has all you’d ever want from a sports bar. You could park here, have a green-chili- or chipotle-stuffed burger, and then take their free trolley to the United Center for Bulls games. Very convenient.
But you may want to just hole up here for the night. You’re in a two-level playground paneled with wood from an Oswego barn that’s stocked with 40 beers, a 14-foot projection TV, foot-long grilled cheese sandwiches and Animal Tots, which are tater tots smothered with pulled pork, cheese curds, mustard, a fried egg and Kalamazoo gravy (it’s made with Bell’s).
Before long, you’ll find yourself arm wrestling with Teamsters—their headquarters is in this building—and manning the tap that pours vodka perfectly chilled to 34 degrees.
Be sure to let the Teamsters win.