1) Opposable thumbs.
2) Mastery of fire.
3) Employing both to make things.
Like spacecrafts. And computers. And that singularly human product that has fueled the work of geniuses and lumberjacks alike for centuries: coffee.
And we just found a way to make it in a paper bag.
Presenting the Coffeebrewer, a bag of coffee grounds requiring little else than hot water to make a cup of the black stuff, available now.
If you could somehow fuse the simple utility of Cup O’ Noodles with the functionality of your standard drip-brew coffeemaker, this is basically the java manifest-er you would end up with.
So the next time you find yourself secluded in a tent during a rugged mountaineering expedition (or, say, a multiday outdoor concert), think of this as your new coffee pal. Each bag comes with ground beans in a pouch that serves as a filter within the bag, packed with the stimulants of regions like Nicaragua, Honduras and Bolivia. (Again, we’re talking about coffee here.)
Once you drop in a half-liter of boiling water and give it about 10 minutes, you will have three cups of steaming-hot joe to pour from the biodegradable bag directly into your mug.
Someone needs to invent one of these for quiche.