Well, it’s time you go someplace like Bolivia.
Or failing that, in a mobile home.
But one with decent horsepower.
Introducing the Uyuni Salt Flat Crossing, a 10-day traverse across the Bolivian salt flats in a handsomely appointed Airstream trailer, taking reservations now.
This is in no way, shape or form the kind of RV a Griswold might take on family vacation. Instead, picture an immaculately restored WWII-era Airstream containing a bedroom, a lounge and a Chilean-wine-stocked mini fridge (you know, the essentials).
All in all, not a bad way to trace a few thousand miles of desert landscape. But as is the case with any road trip/expedition into the middle of nowhere, you’ll need companions. Here, you’ll have two.
The first: a shotgun-riding Bolivian naturalist with 15 years of salt-flat-exploring experience. The second: a private chef. He’ll tend to your llama-steak cravings. He’ll also garnish the rim of your margarita by taking a pickax to the ground during pit stops. Or anytime you park to stargaze at the base of a volcano, bathe in a thermal hot spring or feed a nearby flamingo. Assuming that naturalist guide isn’t watching.
And assuming you travel with Wonder Bread crust.