Consider this your behind-the-scenes peek into the world of nonsense we’ve left behind. Pitches that never should’ve been pitched. Inventions that never should’ve been invented. We see them every day. So here it is: a small taste of our not-so-small rejection pile.
While the world may never know if this groundbreaking nectar of the gods (and by that we mean “horrible idea”) contains actual bear semen, we have to hand it to these guys for their marketing chops. They’re billing it as the “manliest drink on earth.” Our verdict: stick to coffee.
This may be the worst thing to happen to humanity since the Double Dream Hands guy. It’s an emoticon-only keyboard. As in, connect it to your computer, press actual faces and have those same faces appear on the screen in emoticon form. It’s like typing “I’m perplexed,” only way more convenient. And stupid.
Jeans that fit like a glove: about a hundred bucks. Jeans that fit like a glove and have painted-on eyeballs that “wink” when you walk: priceless. Send these guys your jeans and they’ll paint eyes (human, duck, lion...) on the back of them. Did somebody say casual Friday...
Picture a 1965 VW camper van. Now picture it as a tent. Not much else to say here. Except maybe that it sets up in minutes, splits into two separate rooms and has the ability to cheese out a campsite faster than appletinis and fireside “Kumbaya” renditions. In falsetto.
If this one comes off a bit creepy, that’s only because it’s a bit creepy. On the eve of the royal wedding, a London hotel chain busted out their finest bedsheets with life-size photos of Kate and William printed on them. Minus heads. Which is where you were supposed to come in. Supposed to.
