Look at you walking around all happy. Enjoying your afternoon. Living life completely sheltered from the kinds of emotionally scarring products that have been coming across our desks all year. Well, it’s time to change all that now.
Boxers or briefs: it’s an age-old question. One that, since the beginning of time, has only been directed at the non-fairer sex. Although now that someone’s made these gender-neutral boxer-cut briefs with things like hibiscus flowers and cogs on them, we don’t know. We just don’t know.
Things you can do to improve the dexterity of your tongue. Go.
—Tie a cherry stem with it.
—[REDACTED].
—Use it to virtually flip light switches, sharpen pencils and hit beach balls through an app on your
phone.
It’s called “Lick.” What’d you expect?
If we said you could procure a kit with supplies such as tattoo ink, sterile needles and a large Band-Aid in it, you’d probably laugh. Because that would mean that a DIY home tattoo kit exists. You can unfortunately stop laughing now.
Bad: Someone drumming on a steering wheel.
Worse: Someone drumming on your head with chopsticks.
That Last Thing, Multiplied by 10: Someone wearing a pair of pants that can play more than
100 sounds when tapped, which is both real and 100 sounds too many.
Right now, you could cut off a piece of your bike’s chain and fasten it around your wrist. But you wouldn’t do that, because then you’d be wearing a bicycle chain bracelet. And by that logic, it’d be safe to assume you wouldn’t pay money for that exact thing. The end.
