Food & Drink

Going Postal

Brunch by Mail: Now a Thing

Weekends are everywhere. Look. Over there. Two days from now... a weekend. This calls for action. But let’s say your go-to brunch spot is inaccessible—you’re out of town, they’re shooting your biopic there on Sunday, whatever. That’s where we come in. Behold, the best mail-order brunch options. Because the mail never stops.

BLOODY SUNDAY

Demitri’s Bloody Mary Mix

The Gist: A just-add-vodka set of four Bloody Mary mixes, including chipotle-habanero. Yes, bacon rim salt’s included.
The Pedigree: In the 1980s, a Seattle man set out to make a consistently delicious Bloody. He succeeded, and bottled his success.
The Action Plan: See above, re: just adding vodka.

THE WAFFLE TRUTH

Bouchon Bakery Yeasted Waffle Mix

The Gist: Delicious, airy waffles in powder form, waiting for your ironing and syrup dousing.
The Pedigree: From Thomas Keller, the only American with two Michelin three-star restaurants.
The Action Plan: Invite Tom over and point him toward your waffle maker. Or just make ’em yourself.

SAUSAGE FEST

Snake River Farms Kurizo Sausage

The Gist: Variety is the spice of life. The other spice of life: chorizo sausage.
The Pedigree: Prepared with red peppers and seasoning in the old Basque tradition. (You’re a fan of any culture that has ancient sausage traditions.)
The Action Plan: Pair these with a spicy omelet. Or with your Basque hot dog buns.

THE BACON PIG

La Quercia Tamworth Bacon

The Gist: Dry-aged and applewood-smoked bacon, made from the Tamworth hog.
The Pedigree: That hog’s otherwise known as the “bacon pig.” It never had a chance.
The Action Plan: Chop the slab into appropriate slices (½-inch thick ought to do), and decide on the vital question of our time: to cook or not to cook.

MILK IT

Momofuku Cereal Milk Mix

The Gist: A flaky mix you strain milk through to make it taste like leftover cereal bowl milk.
The Pedigree: From noodle magnate David Chang and his Momofuku empire.
The Action Plan: Add to cereal. Or dunk a donut in it. Or mix into a White Russian. Hey, you’ve earned it.

SOMETHING FISHY

Petrossian Smoked Salmon

The Gist: Sliced salmon smoked for five precious days.
The Pedigree: From the company that introduced caviar to Paris in the 1920s. (It worked out.)
The Action Plan: Spread toast points on a plate. Open. Place salmon on toast points. Take delight. Toast points optional.