It's that time of the year again. Time to break out your white linen suit, wish your friends well and try to impress single, peach satin-clad bridesmaids with your well-honed interpretation of the Running Man. And since tomorrow is the most popular wedding day of the year, we thought we'd celebrate by bringing you Johnny Stuart, aka, DJ Johnny Danger, the man behind the music at some of the city's most prestigious unions, and quite possibly the craziest DJ we've ever met.

UD: So, Johnny, how does your style differ from other wedding DJs around the city?
JS: I'm not like this weekend-cookie-cutter-wedding-bar mitzvah-MC-yell-at-your-guests kind of suburban Westchester nightmare, and you can quote me on that.

UD: How far in advance are you booked?
JS: A year. This morning, I got a call for next May. One girl beat the record of all records—two years advanced booking. I hope I don't get a kidney stone and am laid out in the hospital. Two years, man! Damn, dude, come on! I'm international.

UD: What's the craziest thing you've seen happen at a wedding?
JS: I've seen fights. I've seen people doing the Worm, I've seen drunk people pouring wax on themselves, they're so out of their minds. This past week, the bride, she went and changed into a micro-mini, see-through bustier. Lace, "f***ing in the bushes" dress.

UD: Who throws the best reception?
JS: They all do. There was a gay wedding that I did for two guys at the W Hotel that was off the chain. I mean, the Indian wedding I did—I had 600 people going ape s**t. Everybody likes to get down at a certain point.

UD: You ever had to talk the groom into going through with it?
JS: The only thing I have coaxed people into doing is, when they're giving speeches, I've had to tell them to stand up, speak into the mic, be calm. Because they all break down and cry, and the mic is down at their belly button and no one can hear s**t. I always say, "Eat the mic like 50 Cent."

UD: Do you watch all the wedding movies?
JS: Wedding Singer I never really watched. But Wedding Crashers, 100%, I wet my pants when I watch that s**t. And I have to watch Sweet 16 on MTV, because it's my business. I have to watch Bridezillas on the Women's Channel. I mean, I don't have to, but I do.

UD: Are you always the pimpest at the wedding?
JS: Pretty much. It's showbiz, man. I'm in showbiz! If I wear a tux, I don't want your guests asking me for a gin and tonic. I'm standing out.

UD: What are the best spots in the city to meet bridesmaids after the wedding?
JS: Well, there's always an after-party somewhere. But I don't do that anymore. You always get some guy who wants to kick my a** for coming down and scooping in on their s**t. It's just not a good idea to mix business with pleasure. The wedding business is like the nightclub business. There's alcohol involved. Everyone is jacked up out of their brains, catastrophe can happen at any given moment. It's a minefield.

UD: You ever gonna get married?
JS: That's the best question you asked me all day. I was engaged once. It didn't work out. I kinda got bummed. I've been dating a girl for a couple of years, and I'm just not that compelled to get on my knees and ask for a woman's hand in marriage. Someday, though. Someday my prince will come…

UD: If New York was a woman, who would she be?
JS: That's a hard one...Jennifer Lopez. The 6 train. Bootylicious Puerto Rican.

JS: This was fun, right? I'm still drunk from last night.