But a garage full of steakhouse burgers, spiked milkshakes and plasma TVs... well, you could certainly find a use for a place like that...
Introducing GO Burger, the kind of forward-thinking establishment that’ll put Guinness in your float, duck fat in your fries and grilled cheese on your hamburger, opening early next week.
Much like a forbidden tryst, a great leather-and-wood-clad sports bar only comes along when/where you least expect it. Say, a week after the Super Bowl. On the Upper East Side.
And yes, normally, this might be a deterrent. But you’ve always been open-minded when it comes to places that’ll fry your pickles, stud your Smashed Burger with onions and pour a whole gang of tequila in your chocolate shake.
So you’ll make an excuse to be in the area (you’re auctioning Mesopotamian artifacts at Sotheby’s) and enter through the working garage door. Once you’ve found the table with the best TV sight lines... ignore it, and instead focus on the menu.
The burger offerings: generous. But you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t at least sample the UltiMelt. A Black Angus burger that’s topped with caramelized onions, smoked bacon and two slender rye and grilled gruyère cheese sandwiches.
Finish and they’ll give you the garage clicker.