Become QB for the Pats. Have Wolverine’s claws. Explore Pam Anderson.
Since Brady is a god, Pam is... older, and adamantium doesn’t exist, we can help with the more realistic one from those days: driving a luxury sports car. Six of them, in fact. This Wednesday.
Presenting the Status Ride Motorcade, a one-day, six-car driving experience through the winding roads of Central MA, now taking reservations for next week.
Think of it as having Bruce Wayne’s entire car rolodex at your disposal for a day. You’ll start by grabbing a copilot (or not) and heading to Worcester, where you’ll meet up at a super-secret, undisclosed location (okay, a diner), discuss the route over coffee and eggs and then head out (cue Reservoir Dogs slow-mo walking shot).
Your chariots: a Lamborghini Gallardo, a Bentley GT, an Audi R8, two Porsches (911 convertible and Cayman S) and a Ferrari F430 (we know, this last one is a bit of a letdown, as that’s your usual car). You’ll hop in one and begin your six-hour, 125-mile loop through the picturesque surroundings, stopping every half hour or so to take a break, compare suspension notes and switch cars.
And in terms of speed, you should know that you’ll be escorted by a state trooper (so no tickets), and there’ll be some stretches where you can open up the engines a bit.
Without ever exceeding the speed limit, obviously.