But you can’t help but think it was missing something. You know, like a Full Metal Jacket-style assault on every sinew in your body...
Introducing Ruckus Boston, the brand-new, military-grade, flat-out-crazy outdoor obstacle course, now taking reservations for November’s endurance test.
Think of it as the basic-training montage of every great military film you’ve ever seen, all rolled into one, only without the crew cuts and subsequent warring.
You’ll start by rising at dawn (stay with us) and getting yourself to an awe-inspiring, Lou Gossett Jr-caliber obstacle course in Marshfield. There, on a massive five-kilometer maze designed by a retired Army Special Forces fitness instructor, you’ll traverse a gauntlet that takes 90 minutes to complete and encompasses five different military-style zones (pay special attention to Zone Foxtrot), complete with obstacles like fences, walls, nets, mud pits, tunnels, tires and even smoke bombs.
Should your time be in the top 10%, you’ll then compete once more in the Champions Heat. Winner gets a golden helmet... and some serious bragging rights back in the South End.
But no matter where you finish, your day will end with a post-race beer and BBQ, including chicken, ribs and pulled pork.
Don’t be surprised if the pork tastes like victory.