1. Oh no, I'll never make it to Greece in time to bail it out.
2. I wonder if you can snowmobile on the ashes.
If your reaction was closer to No. 2, we're here to say no, no you can't. But you can do the next best thing...
Welcome to Icelandic Snowmobile Expeditions, a series of snowmobiling tours atop one of Iceland's largest active volcanoes (but not that one), taking reservations now.
First, we know what you're wondering. And yes, it is safe. You'll begin by finding your way to Reykjavik, then driving about two hours to Mt. Katla, in South Iceland, which is topped by the Mýrdalsjökull glacier. (It's pronounced "the really big one.")
There, you'll be greeted by one of several guides, who have 15 years' experience handling the icy twists and turns you're about to encounter. (For those of you still learning how to pronounce Eyjafjallajökull, you'll be happy to know that each guide is an English-speaker.)
You'll have your pick from ultra-sturdy jeeps and trucks, but we recommend going with the good old-fashioned snowmobile. Once you're properly helmeted and buckled, you'll drive for about four slippery hours over one of the country's biggest glaciers, climbing the occasional snowdrift while taking in panoramic views of the icy tundra.
If you play your cards right, you and your tourmates can celebrate with a polar bear-style plunge into a nearby lake.
So maybe you shouldn't play your cards right.