Culture

An Oddly Specific Halloween Night Streaming Guide

What to Watch Based on Who You're With

None
Netflix

As you know, Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year. So we're sure you've already gotten the dressing up and going out and drinking that strange punch out of your system over the weekend. And that's good. You don't need any more strange punch.

However, we figured you might want one last spooky hurrah before heading into November. But since you'll have work the next day, it's probably best you keep this hurrah pretty low-key. A few friends (or one good friend). A few autumnal libations. A few pieces of candy. Okay, maybe more than a few pieces of candy...

To that end, we've devised an extremely specific Halloween streaming guide, for dates, stoners, family binges and scaredy cats. 

Yes. We even have the scaredy cats covered.

The Classic Date Night

The Movie: Halloween (the original)
The Rationale: Despite the redux in theaters now, and its ungodly number of sequels, the original slasher flick--wherein the silent madman/killer Michael Meyers escapes the looney bin to terrorize a group of teens in suburban Illinois--stills stands the test of time. It's scary enough to make cuddling mandatory, but not gory or terrifying enough to kill the mood.
Where to StreamShudder

The Stoner B-Movie Crew

The MovieKiller Klowns from Outer Space
The Rationale: The cult classic, about, well, a cadre of killer klowns from outer space, which celebrated its 30th anniversary this year, is one of the most genuinely hilarious good bad movies ever made—particularly if the candy you're eating has weed in it. 
Where to Stream: Hulu

The Amped-Up Group That Simply Doesn't Want to Sleep Tonight

The Movie: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
The Rationale: The 1978 remake contains scenes as terrifying as any you'll see in movies today. Plus, it's premised on the fact that, if you fall asleep, your body will be assumed by an alien. So there's that, too. If you've never seen it, now's the time.
Where to StreamAmazon Prime

The Family Who Binges Together

The ShowThe Haunting of Hill House.
The Rationale: Mike Flanagan's exceptionally terrifying new Netflix series, based on the classic Shirley Jackson novel, is first and foremost a family drama, which seriously meditates on themes of grief, trauma and motherhood. Fully realized, with jumps in time tied to memory that brings to mind HBO's excellent Sharp Objects, it's one of the scariest pieces of horror to come out this year—but also one of the most moving dramas. If nothing else, the Cranes will make your family feel sane by comparison.
Where to Stream: Netflix

The Oddballs with a Sweet Tooth and a Dark Side

The ShowThe Curious Creations of Christine McConnell
The Rationale: Christine McConnell's new series is,according to the New Yorker's food columnist, "Martha Stewart meets Tim Burton." McConnell plays the mother to a ragtag crew of deranged puppets, from an oversexed zombie raccoon to a refrigerator beast named Milly, who live with her in a gothic mansion, where she creates all manner of creepy confections, like sepulchral layer cakes and fanged chocolate strawberries. It's weird. It's funny. Dita von Teese plays a ghost. You might want to watch it. 
Where to StreamNetflix

The Edgy Third Date 

The Movie: It Follows
The Rationale: David Robert Mitchell's supernatural horror movie follows a group of teens as they attempt to outrun a spiritual plague. The twist: the curse is sexually transmitted. Nothing makes two people want to hook up like the specter of an evil curse that may descend if they do. 
Where to Stream: Netflix

The Artsy Roomie

The Movie: The Witch
The Rationale: This movie, about an exiled settler family forced out of town to a house near the woods, moves to the beat of its own resounding drum. It requires patience. And the horror builds from its specificity: the strong, 1630 New England accents; the authentically play-like biblical language; the eerie quietude and brittle cold of the family's home. It's not for everyone, but when it reaches its stunning climax, you'll be glad you stuck with it.
Where to StreamNetflix

The Yell-at-the-TV Adrenaline Junkies

The Movie: Drag Me to Hell
The Rationale: A woman gets cursed by an old babushka and is forced to stave off an evil demon who's super intent on dragging her into the depths of hell for all eternity. It's loud, big-screen, action-packed horror from the master, Sam Raimi. 
Where to StreamHBO Go

The Vampire-Loving Scaredy Cats 

The Movie: What We Do in the Shadows
The Rationale: The vampire mockumentary, directed and starring Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Concords) and Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok), is wry, dry and extremely funny—like Christopher Guest meets Interview with a Vampire. Perhaps best of all, it's only 85 minutes long.
Where to Stream: Amazon Prime

The Quasi-Intellectual Horror Fans

The Movie: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil
The Rationale: This clever comedy horror flick—about a group of vacationing college kids who mistake two hillbillies as crazy murderers—hilariously subverts genre tropes, and reveals ingrained film biases about country folk in the process. Which is something you and your friends can discuss at irritating length at the conclusion of the film. 
Where to Stream: Netflix

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