There's this thing about outdoor hot springs: they're always better when they're private and attached to your bedroom.
Finally, somebody gets it...
That somebody: KAI Sengokuhara, a 16-room ryokan (Japanese for "really chill traditional inn") situated 2,000 feet above sea level and opening tomorrow in Hakone, Japan, a mountainous region west of Tokyo.
This is the sort of place you wind up at when simply getting out of town doesn't cut it, because other towns also broadcast the news. But don't stress: all that ugly stuff will be behind you soon enough, as you don a flax kimono and settle into your very own hot spring, fed from the acidic, mineral-rich waters of the Owakudani Valley. It's basically a panacea for all your Twitter-related ailments.
The peaceful vibes will follow you to your room. The wood-filled space is modern enough to please any Scandinavian, yet traditional enough to still contain grass tatami mats (see the slideshow). And if design porn isn't really your thing, you can always feast your eyes on the mountain views through the window. Mountain views are nice, too.
Maybe later, you'll take a dip in the communal hot spring, where you'll contemplate cherry and gingko trees and try to remember how a haiku works. But you'll definitely require dinner, and when that times comes you can expect a 10-course kaiseki meal featuring things like wagyu beef and fish stone-grilled at 200 degrees, all served in the comfort of your private seating area.
We promise you'll see other people again eventually.