'Brie-ing' Is the New Way Your Bougie Aunt Prefers to Get High

How Charcuterie Enthusiasts Drop Ecstasy

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft ·
Diana Miller/Getty Images

If you’re looking forward to having a low key weekend just binge-watching Handmaid’s Tale and gorging on bread and cheese, be warned that you might be in for a more wild ride than you anticipated. First of all, there is nothing relaxing or low key about Handmaid’s Tale. And second of all, people are apparently placing MDMA (aka, ecstasy) in brie cheese. So watch out!

Who is it, you might be wondering, stuffing ecstasy pills into the stinky soft delicacy of my charcuterie dreams? Bougie women over 50, who host dinner parties. Duh.

lady told Metro UK that her and her friends were looking for a way to connect like they used to when they were younger. Instead of trying a game of Taboo or picking up a bird-watching hobby, the women went straight to hard designer drugs. They quite literally spiced up their Friday evenings and stuffed the pills into their brie, much like you do when tricking your dog to take its medication. And are we but animals, anyway?

Within an hour, the women reported having flowing conversations about their sex lives. Hopefully they didn’t actually have sex after eating all that brie, but who knows. Ecstasy can make people do crazy things. Like stuff ecstasy into wheels of brie.

Kady Ruth Ashcraft

Kady Ruth Ashcraft is a writer, comedian, filmmaker, and Amtrak Princess. Follow her on twitter @kadyrabbit and tweet her pictures of your pets.

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