Hamburgers weren't invented in Hamburg, of course.

But you know what was?

A 130-room architectural puzzle of a lakeside hotel with a noticeable absence of straight walls.

It's called The Fontenay and it's open now in... oh wait, we see you already have a question.

"So, there's no straight walls aside from room partitions, and no walls that are parallel to one another? How the heck does that work?" 

That's you. And no, your voice doesn't sound like that.

But yes. The hotel is made up of three, intertwining circles. Which is weird. But cool-weird. And also the reason why all the furniture in your room is custom-made. It may help to have a look at the pictures.

As much as you love your room, with its floor-to-ceiling windows and balcony looking out to Lake Alster, you'll also want to escape to the roof. Because that's where an outdoor infinity pool, 1,000-square meter spa and a restaurant helmed by a Michelin-starred Swiss chef are just kind of hanging around, biding their time until your arrival.

And when things need to feel special between you and that black-turtlenecked gallery-hopper you met in town, you'll dine at Parkview, the airy garden restaurant with an outdoor terrace and a menu of regional favorites like fjord-foraged prawns, wiener schnitzel and goose liver. There's even a hamburger on the menu. 

Regionalisms be damned.