Boozing May Be Better for You Than Exercise, If You Want to Live Past 90

So Says a Scientific Study We Very Much Want to Believe Holds True

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft ·
Photo: Getty Images

We usually cater to a younger demographic on UrbanDaddy but this post is specifically for our nonagenarian readership. We’ve got great news for you! A study done by University of California neurologist Claudia Kawas, found that people over 90 who drank about two glasses of beer or wine a day were 18% less likely to die a premature death. The study also found that participants who exercised 15 to 45 minutes a day were only able to decrease their chances of a premature death to 11%. 

What they’re trying to prove is that grandma deserves that extra glass of sherry after dinner and nobody ought to shame her for it. She just wants to spend some extra, tipsy time with her beloved kin. Plus, all of grandpa's stories about the war might be a bit more elaborate and honest with the help of another glass of wine. The study also claimed that while it’s good to be skinny in your youth, being skinny at 90 is actually pretty bad for you. It’s best to be a little bit overweight. 

“I have no explanation for it, but I do firmly believe that modest drinking improves longevity,” Kawas said at the American Association for the Advancement of Science conference in Austin, Texas. 

Honestly, I don't need an explanation. When science aligns perfectly with my dream life, I will blindly accept it. For all I know the "American Association of the Advancement of Science" is a bunch of kids on other kids' shoulders walking around in lab coats in a rec center basement. 

You might think you’re living your best life now. But there will be a time when you can ditch the spin classes and keto diet and just drink booze and refuse to exercise and your doctor will be proud of you. Cheers to getting old! 

Kady Ruth Ashcraft is a writer, comedian, filmmaker, and Amtrak Princess. Follow her on twitter @kadyrabbit and tweet her pictures of your pets.

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