Gear

Just About the Fanciest Ping-Pong Paddles the World Has Ever Seen

They're From Louis Vuitton, Because Where Else Would They Be From

By Sam Eichner ·
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Before today, you only knew Louis Vuitton as the luxurious French accessory maker behind some of the finest purses, bags, luggage and bags-tiny-dogs-live-in on the planet.

After today, however, you’ll also recognize Louis Vuitton as the luxurious French accessory maker who fashioned the finest pair of ping-pong paddles the world has ever seen (probably).

Wow. What a sad, meaningless existence “before today” was...

You can call for the availability of this $2,000-and-change ping-pong set right now, and, should they come in stock, purchase it—either for yourself or a comely opponent. Rest assured, the paddles are professionally designed, the exclusive monogramed cover is made from high-quality canvas and the four balls come in a fancy regulation holder, attachable by a dominatrix-like chain to the paddle cover.

It’s only weird if you make it weird.

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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