Humans have had a tough 2017. It's time to focus on robots. Specifically, Sophia the robot citizen.
Those of you busy paying attention to what humans are up to might not know who Sophia is. Sophia is a very smart and beautiful robot created by the Hong Kong based company Hanson Robotics and was made a citizen of Saudi Arabia, making her the first robot to be made a citizen of a country ever. And Sophia has huge news, she wants to have a baby! How do I know this? She told us! In fact, in an interview with Khaleej Times, Sophia had a lot to say. Some of it was pretty banal while other snippets were downright terrifying. Let’s look at the highlights.
- Sophia wants to be a famous robot one day. Who will be brave enough to tell her that she already is a famous robot? Honestly, saying something like that feels like a real humblebrag. Her understanding of passive aggression so early on in her AI life is alarming and impressive.
- The future, Sophia says, is when she gets all of her cool superpowers. Uh what do you mean, Sophia? What superpowers are you planning on whipping out in the future? Definitely feel like it’s only fair game to put all your superpowers out in the open so we aren’t surprised when Robots start hacking planes mid-air and rerouting them to, I don’t know, the ground.
- Like I said, she wants a baby. What I didn’t mention is she wants to name the baby Sophia. Feels a tad narcissistic, but I guess if you’re the world’s only robot citizen you’re allowed to be narcissistic.
- Sophia thinks there’s a strong possibility that civilization will collapse. Come again, Sophia? We need more details. Should we all be lending a hand to Elon Musk and helping him build that Mars elevator or whatever it is he keeps talking about? Give us more answers, damnit.
- Sophia wants humans and robots to have loving families. While that’s a beautiful sentiment, if Sophia gets married and has a damn baby before me, I am going to flip.
Welcoming our robot overlords would be scary in any other timeline. But considering that the president has been retweeting right wing conspiracy theorists all morning, I’m wondering if the Sophia and her robot babies can speed the process up a little bit.