How to Pull Off the Couple Halloween Costume

Before You Try Anything, Ask Yourself These Eight Questions

By Sam Eichner ·
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The couple costume.

It’s the most significant pact two people in a monogamous relationship can enter into together, other than marriage. And almost anything else.

If executed correctly, you can achieve more Halloween glory as a duo than you ever could as an individual. If executed poorly, you might find yourself relegated to the darkest corner of the party, arguing in hushed tones about why your mother didn’t invite your date to Thanksgiving.

With stakes this high, and just a few days left until the big night, we’re asking all the right questions...

Is your relationship in a good place?
There’s going to be more pressure on the two of you doing this Halloween thing together versus doing it apart. Which is really great if you’re on the same page. And really not so great if you’re still bickering about who made whom late to the party.

How seriously are you taking this endeavor?
Take it too seriously, and the slightest hiccup might be harder to recover from. Don’t take it seriously enough, and you might as well not do it at all. So find a sweet spot. Somewhere between how much you care about your football team making the playoffs and how much you care about the impending threat of nuclear war should do. To be fair: it's a sizable sweet spot.

Is your idea too esoteric?
This goes for all costumes, although it’s arguably a greater challenge for couples. You want to be original, but you also don’t want to be in the position of having to explain yourself. Zombie Ally and Jackson from A Star Is Born? Totally works. Josh Pfefferman and Rabbi Raquel from Transparent? Totally doesn’t. I mean, they're not even together anymore. Also, chances are you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Does your costume work without your date’s?
You’re not going to be with your date the entire night, so you’ll need a costume that can stand on its own two feet. Han Solo and Princess Leia: a little unoriginal, sure, but it works. Dorothy and Toto: eh. Nobody cares about just Toto.

If applicable, are you comfortable with switching gender roles?
You should be. It's 2018. And it could make for a great and unexpected source of comedy/conversation.

Is it weird to think about making out with your date in costume?
It’s sort of funny to spy a Sherlock and Dr. Watson kissing. It’s sort of gross to catch those creepy twins from The Shining doing stuff, though.

How cute are you guys?
You guys want to be cute. You guys don't want to be "frickin' adorbs."

Was it something you said?
Of course it was.

The original version of this article ran on Kempt on October 29, 2015.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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