So they’re just about to announce this year’s Emmy nominations, and it got us thinking...

What if the Emmys were based on how stylish a show was instead of all that other mumbo jumbo?

Then we... continued thinking...

And came up with these new categories based purely on style-based metrics we thought more worthy than stuff like “gravitas” and “veritas” and other “-tas” things that might make for prestige television darlings.

Without further ado, the envelope, please...

The Category: Achievement in Making the ’80s Look Like a Decade You’d Want to Dress In
The Favorite: The Americans
The Wild Card: The Goldbergs

The Category: Best Depiction of the Political World’s Complete Lack of Style but Surplus of One-Liners
The Favorite: Veep
The Wild Card: House of Cards

The Category: The Mark Zuckerberg Lifetime Achievement Award in Techno-Sartorial Use of the Hoodie
The Favorite: Mr. Robot
The Wild Card: Silicon Valley

The Category: Best Depiction of How Much More Stylish Regular People Living in NYC Are Than Regular People Living Anywhere Else in the Country
The Favorite: Master of None
The Wild Card: Girls/Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Toss-Up)

The Category: Best Period-Piece Style That Will Not Save the Show from Probably Getting Snubbed, Which Is a Shame
The Favorite: The Knick
The Wild Card: The People v. O.J. Simpson