Let’s agree not to do anything associated with it, shall we?
Let’s instead talk about Teisui, a sexy Japanese tasting menu spot in NoMad, opening tomorrow.
We’re going to take you through an 10-step program for luxuriating here.
Step 1. Ask someone on a date.
Step 2. Make a reservation and request a seat at the counter, where the grilling and other food-making action is.
Step 3. Bring Step 1’s date here.
Step 4. Ask for an eight-course tasting menu. Get corrected when they tell you there are actually 10. Be pleased.
Step 5. When prompted, say, “why yes, I would like the sake pairing option. Thank you.” They may respond with, “excellent choice. We even have one made in Akita, Japan just for us.”
Step 6. Await the arrival of your amuse-bouche—edamame puree, foie gras and Hokkaido uni. Yes, that does sound rich.
Step 7. Witness a parade of things arrive. Things like duck breast with red wine sauce and vegetables, and Rabbit Miso Cappuccino, rabbit with Kyoto miso.
Step 8. When the Ishiyaki Teisui soup with miso, red snapper, king crab and scallion arrives, ask, “just what the hell are you doing with that stone?” They’ll reply, “it’s a hot stone from Mt. Fuji, and it’s what heats the soup.”
Step 9. Concede, “okay, I’ll to choose to be okay with having my soup heated by a volcano.”
Step 10. Look at the place and many of the things we mentioned here. Actually, make this Step 1.
And you know what? Fuck it, have a green beer later if you want.