1) Win an Academy Award for Best Actress.
2) Engender a devout passion for table tennis.
3) Become Susan Sarandon.
Hmm. Might be tough. Especially that whole becoming-another-person thing...
So maybe just cut your losses and visit SPiN, the ping-pong empire that Susan Sarandon hath built, whose biggest club to date now resides in our fair city.
All 18,000 square feet of this place soft-opens next Friday. Allow us to break it down for you thusly...
The Food: Expect a menu of shareable bar snacks (like truffle fries), some Asian-centric dishes (like the bulgogi-inspired skirt steak sandwich) and a homemade Oreo with white chocolate mousse. That last one defies parentheticals.
The Drinks: Large-format cocktails. Bottled cocktails. A mezcal-and-English-cider drink called the Salt Lake Susan. Which brings us to...
The Susan Sarandon Interview: Wherein the boss lady herself enlightens you on the optimal level of ping-ponging sobriety and the best celebrity table tennis players. (Spoiler: Prince is just as good as you think he is.)
The Grand Tour: That’s what this annotated slideshow is for.