So here’s some free, bad advice: tape ice cubes to your body.
And here’s some free, good advice: consult your local Head-to-Toe Heat Wave Survival Kit, wherein we gather all the Italian-linen shorts, straw hats and technologically advanced dress pants you need to make it through this as comfortably as possible. It’s pretty breezy in this slideshow.
You can pick these things up locally today, so you should do that. Then just go about your popsicle-eating, heat wave small-talking and whatever else-ing it is that you do when it’s like this outside.
Surely turning on the A/C should be one of them.