Water mains bursting. The earth’s core melting. Chupacabras, maybe. Mole people?
They’re all harbingers of doom.
But your exception for today is Slowly Shirley, the slightly more serious cocktail bar underneath the Happiest Hour. Ol’ Shirl’s open now.
You’ve got a ’50s Florida vibe up at the Happiest Hour, but this new space has more of a Hays-Code-era-Hollywood sensation (we can prove it, we have the photographic technology). Along with a two-human coffee cocktail and a scotch-mezcal-bourbon-Galliano-sherry killer called Quilty. It has those, too.
So creep to the right of the bar upstairs and go... downstairs. Sit down with a fellow cocktail enthusiast at the bar or grab a banquette with a date. Who are we to tell you which?
We will tell you that, should your cocktail consumption be met with the hollow sound of liquor planking against your empty stomach, they’ve got a sort of one-patty express version of their burger, which is, conservatively, one of the best the race will ever achieve.
The Nobel committee has been alerted.