Must mean it’s time to go somewhere else.
Better make it Gilded, 17 rooms’ worth of old-world lavishness interrupted only by the occasional croquet green or billiard room, booking now for tomorrow’s opening in Newport, Rhode Island.
Consider this a ’90s throwback. No, not the Friends ’90s. The Grover Cleveland ’90s.
Because that’s when the two Victorians that make up the property were built. And the people behind this place have taken design cues from that wonderfully ostentatious age of Vanderbilts and Carnegies. Like marble mantelpieces, peacock-pattern walls and blue velvet armchairs (this slideshow is a dandy).
Your plan for the day: breakfast pizza in the not-inaccurately-named Breakfast Room that connects both buildings. Then you’ll wander the grounds. You’ll start a pickup croquet game with strangers in the enclosed courtyard. You’ll warm yourselves on a fire-pit-adjacent couch when the sun goes down. You’ll end the night with some spontaneous trick shots on the billiard room’s black velvet pool table.
But be warned: a gold, triple-tiered cart filled with bitters, mixers and glasses patrols the grounds, inviting you to supply your own liquor and make a cocktail. It could strike at any moment.
That probably didn’t need a warning.