“They” have obviously never had frozen cocktails and fried chicken after 2am.
“They” should meet Tippling Hall, a new late-night cocktailing salon from the gentlefolk of Mercadito, now open in River North.
Your hourly guide:
4pm: Appreciate the thoughtful decor like metal hip flasks hanging from the ceiling (see the slideshow here) while you eat duck empanadas and steak frites (see the menu here).
Your drink: Wine. They’ll bring the bottle and measure what you drink—a reasonable $1.25 per half inch. No, really.
5 to 8pm: Post-work marauders with loosened ties consume beer cheese fondue with gleeful abandon.
Your drink: Sunny Side, a bourbon cocktail finished with moonshine bitters.
8pm to midnight: Giant beer steins are being hoisted. Chili-infused, frozen bourbon cocktails are being poured. Just order some fried chicken and hold on.
Your drink: The Derek Smalls, a bison-grass-vodka cocktail poured from a Spinal Tap handle. Insert “this cocktail goes to 11” joke here.
Midnight to 2am: Double Fisters—cocktails that require both hands—are happening.
Your drink: Double Fisters.
3am: You could benefit from a last-chance croque-monsieur right now.
Your drink: The Ronzio: grappa-spiked coffee.
4am: Nothing good happens after 4am.