Well... that’s where you went wrong.
Set sail for leisure at the Drake Devonshire, a 13-roomed one of those in Prince Edward County, Canada, now taking reservations. (See the formidable slideshow here.)
You may know these guys from the Drake Hotel, that downtown Toronto outpost of excess. And sleep, but mostly excess. This new spot: not unlike that. But they just wanted to get a little closer to nature.
You’ve got options, yes. But you’ll want to book the A-framed Owner’s Suite with a fireplace and private balcony overlooking Lake Ontario. You’ll notice original artwork on the walls for admiring and gangly handmade dolls for avoiding.
Then, leave your quarters. Head to the Glass Box and play some ping-pong. Head to the pavilion for a quiet moment under the huge comic-book-like wall mural. Head to the bar because they have drinks there. Head to the general store for a tube of tooth... paste.
Maybe just stay at the bar.