Whoever said “there are no bad ideas” was either heavily dipping into some nog or came up with one of these five things. Because seriously... wow. So for better or for worse, here are five items we decided not to cover in 2013. And by “for better or for worse,” we mean worse.
Getting old. It happens. You can do it gracefully... or like this. With a glorified ski mask that claims to tighten sagging skin in 10 minutes. Apparently, 91% of the participants in a clinical trial would recommend it to their friends. Because 91% of the participants are terrible friends.
Look, there’s no delicate way of going about this, but, you’re looking at goat sh*t. And not in some metaphorical “this is awful” sort of way. It’s a set of fecal nuggets that’ve been coated in gold powder. Which means someone handles these things for a living. Think about that.
Nylon. Spandex. Cotton. You’ve seen all kinds of two-pieces around the pool at Hyde. But a bubble-wrap bikini—well, that takes something special. The bad news: it’s sold out. The good news: it’s sold out.
Having a weather app on your phone comes in pretty handy. There are some really great ones out there. And then there’s... cats. Pictured doing different things every time the weather changes. Like frolicking with daisies. Sleeping. Hiding in boxes. Which sounds like a solid plan right about now.
Sporting a toned body is serious business in this town. So serious, you might even consider putting on an undershirt that gives you the appearance of bulging pectorals, shoulders, biceps and triceps. But then you remember, “Oh yeah, dignity.”
