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Fortified

An Island Fortress That Thinks It’s a Hotel

88908f3a4693c5f02f3fa92a4878cdf425f9cdc48 PhotosSpitbank Fort
Secret military fortresses.

Five-star island resorts.

Basically, the two opposite ends of the get-away-from-it-all spectrum.

So let’s see what their baby might look like, shall we:

Snap off a respectful salute to Spitbank Fort, a 134-year-old British sea fort that’s finally realized its true calling in life—unreasonably impenetrable stunner of a hotel. It’s taking reservations right now.

The story goes that back in the mid-1800s, Britain thought France might ambush the homeland. So they built this monolithic island fortress about a mile off the Isle of Wight. In the end, the French never showed up. Thankfully, however, some enterprising hoteliers did.

After disembarking from your water taxi—the only way in or out—you’ll notice they’ve done some remodeling. The two lookout points now include a fire pit and hot tub. The old soldiers’ barracks: replaced by some lavish mega-suites capable of bringing Robin Leach out of retirement. It’s just way more supervillain friendly nowadays. (Or weekend getaway friendly. Up to you.)

But your main objective: plant a flag atop the roof deck. Claim it as your own. Then get right to sun-basking, rooftop barbecuing and blasting dubstep remixes of “Rule, Britannia” over the loudspeaker without a care in the world.

Though if you see a French flotilla, pick up the red phone.

Vitals

Spitbank Fort
Latitude: 50°44′27.0″ N, Longitude: 1°05′45.8″ W
Portsmouth Harbor
Portsmouth
United Kingdom
+44 14 9468 2682
official website

Extras

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