This time of year, if you set foot inside one, you can expect fake Santas, intense crowds, troubling overuse of the term “stocking stuffer” and a whole lot of piped-in Bing Crosby.
All of which you’ll register in passing as you breeze through to pick up a bunch of caviar from a vending machine...
Behold the critical majesty of The Beverly Hills Caviar Vending Machines, which enable you to swipe a credit card for extravagant dinner-party necessities instead of stale potato chips, now discreetly elevating malls around town.
Look: there’s nothing all that wrong with an ordinary vending machine. Sometimes a person needs a diet soda or a bag full of gummy colorful things shaped like circus animals. Fine.
But Thanksgiving just happened. Things are getting real. You’ve got 842 dinners, parties and soirees to hit and/or host between now and December 31. What we’re saying is, you’re going to need a little caviar to toss around. And fast.
And this season, Beverly Hills Caviar has you covered, even if you’re not in Beverly Hills. Next time you happen to stop into the Westfield Century City, the Westfield Topanga or the Burbank Town Center, just swipe your card at their machine. Get some truffle salt... some caviar gift boxes... a few ounces of beluga...
It was that or fruitcake.