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Gold Standard

Five Hotels for Last-Second Olympic Glory

The torch: blazing. The medieval jousting pits: converted to beach volleyball pits. And London’s finest hotel rooms: booked years in advance. Well, mostly. We’ve unearthed the best of what’s still available, just in case you’re overcome with the last-minute urge to go find out what Uzbekistan’s trampoline team is all about in person.

THOMPSON BELGRAVES

The Thompson Suite

You want: To establish an alternate Olympic Village in lieu of this year’s disappointing accommodations in the East End.
You’ll have: A marble fireplace and a full wet bar with velvety stools to host comely athletes in need of London dry gin.

KLASINA

The Cabin

You want: A room fit for a sea captain.
You’ll have: This floating bed-and-breakfast barge in Canary Wharf docked inside the Games’ de facto yacht harbor and linked by footbridge to the equestrian village in Greenwich Park. (The picnic basket is complimentary, but pick up some extra cheese cubes for the Romneys’ horse.)

ST. ERMIN’S HOTEL

The Deluxe Suite

You want: To post up near the epicenter of beach volleyball, in the most regal manner possible.
You’ll have: A courtyard room close to the Horse Guards Parade, this year’s converted beach volleyball venue. Note: it used to be King Henry VIII’s jousting arena. You should hear the way his royal trumpeters did “Danger Zone.”

SANCTUM SOHO HOTEL

The Deluxe Double Suite

You want: A West End crash pad to host postgame film sessions/gymnast canoodling.
You’ll have: A bar and pair of stools where a desk and chair should be. Also, a 45-seat screening room with its own bar, which you can rent in its entirety (great for after-hours Chariots of Fire screenings).

BROWN’S HOTEL

The Kipling Suite

You want: To submerge yourself in a giant bathtub when this is over.
You’ll have: 970 square feet of white-gloved indulgence at the hotel where Rudyard Kipling finished The Jungle Book. Take the room’s copy into the tub, or better yet, just watch Costas on the bathroom flat-screen while you shampoo.