—Eighth-grade science fair champion.
—Your merit badge in welding.
—That insurmountable high score you set at Asteroids.
Well, prepare for a return to glory, because here comes Atlas Arcade, a new ’80s-themed bar with a classic video game fetish, opening next Tuesday on the bones of Fruit Bat.
This is the kind of place where Matthew Broderick would have hung out in WarGames, only with a lot more beer and a lot less danger of thermonuclear war.
You’ll be drawn in by the combination of lo-fi sound effects, pre-1994 music (yes, Flock of Seagulls is a distinct possibility) and the color palette inspired by Pee-wee’s Playhouse. You’ve got a Jackson in your pocket, which the bartender will be happy to turn into a stack of quarters and some PBRs (for more serious cocktails, you can still head upstairs to Church & State).
From there, you’ll announce that you got next on one of the old-school video games like Shinobi, Double Dragon, Ms. Pac-Man and Galaga. Or keep things even more analog at the foosball table in front or the two dartboards and pool table that replaced the kitchen.
Also in the works: Jell-O shots, ’80s cover bands on the front stage and Rock Band nights.
Just watch out for tendinitis in your “fire” button finger.