Only a town full of highly trained, morally flexible divorce lawyers on call.
And one sympathetic doctor who wants to ease your pain with a bus full of IVs.
Introducing Hangover Heaven, Las Vegas’s first mobile care unit for hangovers, starting up Saturday.
It’s a familiar tune: waking up with a hammer of a headache and uttering the words “I’m never drinking again,” followed by the phrase “Somebody, call a doctor.” Only next time you sing it, replace “doctor” with “Duke-educated anesthesiologist willing to inject a cocktail of vitamins/rehydrating fluids into my veins,” and “I’m never drinking again” with “Let’s get things started early today.”
The process is as painless as it is simple: at the first sign of a debilitating hangover (nausea, cotton mouth, contents of Yasmine Bleeth’s purse scattered on carpet), place a phone call to the dispatcher.
Within minutes, you’ll crawl into a giant bus parked downstairs (keep in mind, they can come up to your room, house-call-style, on designated days). As you enter the vehicle, settle into a leathery bunk bed so the nurse can prep your arm for injection.
Soon enough, you’ll feel a cold rush of fluid coursing through your veins, and the pain of dehydration rapidly melting away.
Feel free to reward your bravery with a lollipop.